Just giggle and pretend it's funny.

I checked this on snopes and it is all true--

If you've been to a gas station lately, you have no doubt been
shocked by the prices: $1.67, $1.78, even $1.92. And that's just for
Hostess Twinkies. Gas prices are even worse.

Americans are ticked off about this, and with good reason: Our rights
are being violated! The First Amendment clearly
states: "In addition to freedom of speech, Americans shall always
have low gasoline prices, so they can drive around in 'sport utility'
vehicles the size of minor planets."

And don't let any so-called "economists" try to tell you that
foreigners pay more for gas than we do. Foreigners use metric
gasoline, which is sold in foreign units called "kilometers," plus
they are paying for it with foreign currencies such as the "franc,"
the "lira" and the "doubloon." So in fact there is no mathematical
way to tell WHAT they are paying.

But here in the U.S. we are definitely getting messed over, and the
question is: What are we going to do about it? Step one, of course,
is to file a class-action lawsuit against the cigarette companies.
They have nothing to do with gasoline, but juries really hate them,
so we'd probably win several hundred billion dollars.

But that is a short-term answer. To truly solve this problem, we
must understand how the oil business works. Like most Americans, you
probably think that gasoline comes from the pump at the gas station.
Haha! What an idiot. In fact, the gasoline comes from tanks located
UNDER the gas station.

These tanks are connected to underground pipelines, which carry large
oil tankers filled with oil from the Middle East.

But how did the oil get in the Middle East in the first place? To
answer that question, we must go back millions of years, to an era
that geologists call the Voracious Period, when giant dinosaurs
roamed the Earth, eating everything that stood in their path, except
for broccoli, which they hated.

And then, one fateful day (Oct. 8), a runaway asteroid, believed by
scientists to be nearly twice the diameter of the late Orson Welles,
slammed into the Earth and killed the dinosaurs, who by sheer bad
luck all happened to be standing right where it landed. The massive
impact turned the dinosaurs, via a process called photosynthesis,
into oil; this oil was then gradually covered with a layer of sand,
which in turn was gradually covered by a layer of people who hate each
other, and thus the Middle East was formed.

For many years, the Middle East was content to supply the United
States with as much oil as we wanted at fair constitutional prices.
But then the major oil-producing nations -- Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq,
Kuwait and Texas -- got all snotty and formed an organization called
OPEC, which stands for "North Atlantic Treaty Organization." In the
1970s, OPEC decided to raise prices, and soon the United States was
caught up in a serious crisis: The Disco Era.

It was horrible. You couldn't go to a bar or wedding reception
without being ordered onto the dance floor to learn "The Hustle."

At the same time, we also had an oil crisis, which was caused by the
fact that every motorist in the United States was determined to keep
his or her automobile gas tank completely filled at all times. As
soon as your gas gauge dropped from "Full" to "Fifteen-sixteenths,"
you'd rush to a gas station and get in a huge line with hundreds of
other motorists who also had nearly full tanks. Also a lot of
people, including me, saved on heating oil by buying kerosene space
heaters, which enabled us to transform a cold, dank room into a cold,
dank room filled with kerosene fumes.

Buying gas and dancing "The Hustle" with people who smelled like
kerosene: That was the '70s.

So anyway, the oil crisis finally ended, and over time we got rid of
our Volkswagen Rabbits and replaced them with Chevrolet Suburbans
boasting the same fuel economy as the Pentagon. Now, once again, we
find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This
time, are we going to learn from the past? Are we finally going to
get serious about energy conservation?

Of course not! We have the brains of mealworms! So we need to get
more oil somehow. As far as I can figure, there's only one practical
way to do this.

That's right: We need to clone more dinosaurs. We have the
technology, as was shown in two blockbuster scientific movies,
"Jurassic Park" and "Jurassic Park Returns with Exactly the Same
Plot." Once we have the dinosaurs, all we need is an asteroid. Or,
if he is available, Michael Moore.

If this plan makes sense to you, double your medication dosage, then
write to your congressperson. Do it now! That way you'll be busy
when I siphon your tank.